Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Bah Hum Bug

Yesterday we got so much snow that we had a SNOW DAY! I love the feeling I get from finding out that school is cancelled. Just like when I was a kid. Being a teacher, I have mixed emotions about it. At first I'm excited! Then, the "Oh NO! That means we'll be one day behind in our lesson plan". Oh well! It's a great day to snuggle in and get some Christmas projects done. I can't post the pics yet of the finished pieces as those that have yet to receive them might see them before they are surprised. So, I'll post them later in the week.

I can't believe that Christmas is 2 days away. Where has the time gone? Why is this year flying by so fast? I'm feeling a bit Bah Humbug this year in regards to the holidays. Don't get me wrong... I LOVE this time of year, BUT... I'm not loving how fast it all is coming and going. The malls are MORE crowded and the snow is piled up so high. It's a gloomy and cold December. I am VERY pregnant and feeling very slow. So, this fast paced world is just making me feel even slower. I can't catch up and I can't help feeling helpless. I am uncomfortable and starting to really dislike the aching hips and waddling that is slowing me down even more. I just want to nap. Of course, that doesn't happen much with the holidays and a 4 year old. I skipped the 12 Days tradition this year too. I know Mark won't remember, but I feel guilty all the same. It's a tradition and it went by the wayside this year due to lack of time, effort, and energy on my part. I'm sad about that, but some things had to go. I am glad it is vacation time, but with all the hustle and bustle I'm feeling rushed and grumpy.

I have to remember that it's not about the gifts and not about the stuff, but about family and friends. I have to remind myself that I have a new life waiting to be born in the new year and that I have lots to be thankful for. This year is going to be one of change, patience, and love. I am going to focus on my blessings and try to be patient this year with myself, my family, time, and my destiny. What will 2009 bring?
Will the year come in fast and slow down for me to savor the moments or will it just pick up the pace and leave me holding on for dear life? I can't fight it either way. I have to be flexible and open to all it's possibilities. THere is little choice in the matter.

Patience... that is my word for the year... 2009. I have to exercise more patience and let things be. Just go with the flow and try not to buck against it all so much.

Love more and not fight so much. Make priorities and try to be patient with others who don't have full realization that they can't control time or events that are beyond them. I want to find peace with my dreams and goals and family. Learn to love them with all their flaws and talents. Try not to be judgmental and defensive. It's gonna be hard especially in the face of certain sleepless nights and trying times with a new baby in the house and a 4 year old that is certain to resent the little brother at times.

I can only do so much and let others help where I can. I can only give love and time when and however possible. I will do this for me and for those I love. I will be patient at least in practice. It's going to be a work in progress...

This year I will start a journal and remind myself daily or weekly of my blessings and of my commitment to being more patient.

1 comments:

Jenn said...

Hey Jen !! I didnt realize you were due so soooooon !! Hugs to you and Happy Holidays, the holidays came and went so fast i cant believe it !!